Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Where are you Christmas?

More accurately, where are you Christmas weather? 78 degrees is beautiful weather. For October. I need a blustery cold wind 5 days before Christmas.

This Christmas is very special. I get to share it with my handsome husband. People talk about marrying your best friend. Loving someone more everyday. It's all true. I am so in love with that man.

We're working on expanding the Neu Crew. What a test in patience. And what an exciting thing to share with someone you love so much. I know he's a great Dad. I know how loving and attentive and fun he is. I can't wait to see the child(ren?) God blesses us with. The kids are beyond ready for us to have a baby. K prays I have a baby girl and A always prays for twins or triplets. L prayed I'd have 87 boys and 87 girls. I have to pray for Jason's sanity. I know the girls and L are going to be such a great big brother and sisters. They ask every time I see them when I'm going to have a baby. And A keeps telling me we just have to keep asking God to put a baby in my belly. I love those kids.

What a test of patience this is. It's kind of the ultimate lesson in you do what you can and leave the timing to God. I know that when this happens for us it will be because it is God's will and time for us. I have been pregnant before. I don't remember anything about it. How I felt physically or anything because it was during such a dark period of my life. It wasn't God's timing. I understand that now, even though the pain of loss was so great for a long time. But that pregnancy couldn't be anymore different than my pregnancy will be when it happens. This time I get to share it with a man who adores me, who I love with my whole heart and who I can't wait to share this with. And see who our baby will look like. Friends joke that he/she will come out with a big smile and straight, white teeth. We have Dr Rumble to thank for that smile!

I miss J. He's been on my heart and mind and in my dreams a lot lately. He loved Christmas. That was a love of mine that I was able to pass on to him. I hope he still has that love in his heart and somewhere in his heart and mind he has good memories of the Christmas' we shared together he was a young boy.

My heart is filled with excitement, joy, hope and wonder. This Christmas will be a very special Christmas for our family. I'm praying for healing, restoration, understanding and forgiveness. I'm praying for babies, and memories, and family and fun.

I know how badly things hurt when they are done outside of God's plan. I, thankfully, have a real understanding of how overwhelming things are when they are blessed by God's favor. My job is still bringing success and is something I love. My husband makes me laugh every day and he's my best friend. Our kids are healthy and happy and settled. Our families are a huge part of our lives and we are blessed with great parents.

This Christmas season was stressful. Over planning, overspending, over stressing. "Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." Thanks Grinch for the reminder. This Christmas we are spending with family. This Christmas we are making memories. This Christmas we will celebrate the true meaning.

I'll enjoy the beautiful sunshine as a reminder that God's love and His promises of a brighter future for us all.

Merry Christmas!

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