Over the past 2 months, I've worked a lot! Over the past month I have worked pretty much 12 hour days, at least, with 1.5 days off.
Why? Because I'm opening a new community. But more than that I'm pre-opening a new community. When I say I'm exhausted, it's more like delirious, I'm not exaggerating. But it's an alive, love my job, can't believe the opportunity I've been given, exhausted, so it's ok. The delirious I'm working through.
I can't relax. Period. My mind races nonstop with things I need to be doing. I called my massage place last night and got a last minute massage for 9pm. Awesome. The first 30 mins I felt like a new woman. The therapist was talking to me, which I hate, but I was engaged in conversation until he started rubbing my head and I just stopped, mid sentence. When I get rich I'm hiring a full time head rubber. But anyways, I turn on my stomach for the last half of my massage and mind you it's 930 at this point and I'm sure my massage guy was as tired as me, but he kind of just ran out of steam. I felt like the episode of Friends where Ross is massaging the guy with tonka trucks. Can't be sure but I'm pretty sure he dozed off at one point so I jerked my body and brought him out of his slumber. At that point I was done. I couldn't relax, couldn't turn my brain off and wanted nothing more than to reach for my iPhone to check my emails. I immediately thought, crap, I forgot to print out option sheets. So I'm laying there stressing, massage guy is zoned out and I raised my head and we are literally nose to nose and I said, remind me after my massage I need to print off option sheets please. He didn't question the crazy, says ok, finished my massage and leaves the room. He meets me outside with a cup of water and reminds me to drink plenty of water and to print off option sheets. I hugged him, pledged my undying love and appreciation and went home to work a few more hours.
A few nights ago I set my alarm, newly installed, and hit my alarm code that I told the people to set. It says "system armed STAY" so I punch in my code to make sure it works and it doesn't. The code apparently got lost in translation and I was hostage in my home. Mind you it was 11pm and I was in for the night but knowing I was IN for the night because I couldn't get out had me near panic. I have a newly found sense of claustrophobia. And it's not cool. I left a message for the company to let them know I had to leave the next morning at 6am and was going to have an alarm going off. No call back. So at 6am, I leave to the sounds of an alarm blaring. You're welcome dear neighbors.
I am moving into my new office today and I have my car loaded up with supplies, sold signs, yada yada. I felt like I was on my way to college or something, leaving the nest, ready to start this new adventure and listening to my itunes and Whitney Houston's "One Moment In Time" comes on. No judging. I'm singing along and then the words just hit me!
"Give me one moment in time, when I'm more than I thought I could be, when all of my dreams are a heartbeat away and the answers are all up to me..."
Let me paint the picture for you. Music moves me. I have church in my car all the time. I sing loud and proud and *sometimes* get emotional and theatrical. I'm sitting at a red light, music blaring, singing my heart out, to Whitney Houston, and look over to a truckful of construction workers laughing. At me.
If I saw what they saw I'd have laughed too. And then blogged about the crazy, middle aged (whaaaa) woman having a concert. To Whitney Houston.
Is there a point to this? Is there ever? I feel like, probably because it's true, that I'm constantly starting new chapters.
Today, for the first time, I was more at peace, filled with excitement and a new confidence for where I'm going than I've had in a long time. I don't know where that is, I don't know who the people will be with me and I'm not sure where I'm going but I'm happy.
So sings Whitney Houston, "you're a winner, for a lifetime. If you seize that one moment in time, make it shine."
Shining! Seizing! Only mildly humiliated that I'm quoting Whitney, may she rest in peace. But "I will be, I will be, fffrrreeeeeeeee!"
New adventure, new chapter. I won't fail. I won't be stopped and I can't wait to see where God leads me on this journey in my 5" black wedges that make me walk tall!
Blessing friends! Mwah!