Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Hormones, changes and just sayin'

Holy hormones! I am a mess. Google walking basket case and you will see me! Last week was tough. What made it easier was I had my husband right beside me through every step. What a difference that makes. It's been tough on me. My natural instinct is to go through things myself. Jason set me down and told me he is here for me, let him be part of what I'm going through. I had more than a handful of dr's appts last week and he was with me at every one. Drying my tears, holding my hand and making me laugh when I needed it. And he did something that isn't his natural instinct and listened to the nurses. Word for word listened. So when we got home and I had questions, he knew how to answer. Oh, I love that man! So thankful for him.

That was the butterflies and rainbows part.

Other moments I cried for no reason. I think I know what roid rage must feel like as I would go from happy to homicidal in 2.0 So on edge. So anxious. Cranky, crabby, melancholy. But I'll go through all this and more for what waits for me at the end of the crazy.

"Whatever you're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, yet somehow there's peace. This is something, bigger than me, I'm giving in to something heavenly."

That song got me through my divorce. My unemployment. My sad days. Funny now it's getting me through hormone rages. Music really does meet you where you are.

Now to the just sayin' portion of this blog. I hate this saying. Really I do. But sometimes it just seems accurate.

When someone lies and you point out they arent telling the truth, it doesn't make you mean. It makes you honest.
Just sayin'

When someone is a cheater and you recognize that they cheated or have to remind them of that because they act like maybe they didnt, it doesn't make you hateful, it makes you honest.
Just sayin'

When you arent welcome in someone's life because you repeat back to them something someone close to them said, it doesnt make you out of line, it makes you frustrated and sad maybe but still honest.
Just sayin'

When you get frustrated because people are willing to do something for someone else they arent willing to do for their own parents, grandparents, kids or fill in the blank, it doesnt make you judgemental, it makes you human.
Just sayin'

Maybe because I'm a walking hormone, maybe because I know how good I have it, maybe because I'm so thankful for the people in my life that it makes me less tolerable for the crazy insensitive people in the world. Or maybe because I'm not great right now at letting people who are liars, cheaters and selfish walk around looking at life through rose colored glasses like their actions don't affect those around them, it's hard for me to hold back.

Lord help me when I'm growing a life or 5 inside me. Actually, after 22 years of female issues, I'll probably be more stable than I've ever been. I cant wait for that day.

Blessed because I have a husband who thinks I'm special. Even when my hormones are holding up my halo!

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