Dear: (you) This blog is for you...mwah

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Its been brought to my attention, snicker snicker, snort, that my blog makes certain people uncomfortable.  Ok.  They don't appreciate my candor and openness.  Some things shouldn't be spoken about, lead alone, acknowledged and put on parade through the rantings of a gal who tends to say too much.

My bad.  Apologies.  Yada yada, you get the drift.

I don't really care.  I write from my heart, for my healing and to be there to help others identify that life doesn't always make sense.

But for those still confused as to how this works, I write a blog about things that are going on in my life and others have 2 options.

1. Read.  

2. Don't read.  

If you choose option 1 and find you indentify with something, cool.  If you choose number 2. And don't read it, then I'd appreciate you not assuming you know what is in it and judge me based on your assumptions.  It's out there, pull up a seat, kick back, dive in. You might actually see, for yourself, that I'm not a broken, grieving, attention seeking whore who has everyone in my life fooled as to who the real Melissa is.

Why do I blog?

Because I can

Why do I feel the need to talk so much about crap that happens or good things I'm happy about.

Because I can.

Why do I care more about strangers reading my words than I do about the people closest to me?

I don't.  Your insecurities are showing.

Is my blog about you?

Maybe.  Maybe not.

How can you know?

Ask me,

How can you know if you don't ask me?

Assume and make haste judgements based on your feelings.  And that ends well for everyone! 

Is it possible I wrote about you?

Possibly.  Did you piss me off, encourage me, love me, support me, call me an attention whore?  If any of those are affirmative, then it's entirely possible you have been content for my blog.

Let's break it down a little simplier for those having trouble following along.

So you get a new shirt, you're feeling sassy and sexy in your new outfit and nothing can bring you down, you own and rocked that crap.

Or, supposed you got a new shirt and you aren't sure if the pattern makes you look fat.  Or the cap sleeves make your arms look like ham hocks.

Then you see a blog or status or comment made regarding a shirt I saw someone wear so your mind goes two places.  

1.  Wonder who she might be talking about?  Hope she saw me rocking my shirt today.  Fabulous!  

Or 

2.  How rude.  I can't believe she thinks my shirt is ugly.  I knew I never should have worn that shirt.  Why did I wear it when I knew it made me look fat?

All I mentioned was seeing a shirt on someone.  Its left open to interpretation as to how it's received based on how YOU feel about YOURSELF.  Not how I must feel about YOU in YOUR stupid shirt.

I hate dumbing myself down but I hope I'm making sense.

If you read something in my blog that you identify with, it's probably because you are facing something that I too am speaking of.  If I'm blogging about worry and hope and faith and God, regardless of the circumstances surrounding MY stuff, if it resonates in YOUR heart it's because YOU also must be facing something that has you feeling hopeful, faithful, thankful. Me sharing mine brought out the emotions of what you are feeling in yours.  Blog success. Woot!

On the other hand of the blog.  If I write about a controlling, lying, hateful, angry, bitter person I reference and you read on through with no second thoughts, chances are pretty good that you don't have those qualities in your heart.  If you can't get through the rest of the blog because you saw it was about a controlling, manipulative person and you immediately stop reading, pick up your phone to call someone to berate and begrudge me for blogging about you....CHANCES ARE GOOD THAT YOU HAVE THOSE TRAITS IN YOUR HEART.

I can't change that.  Truth in every jest.  And truth in every tantrum.  If you're not mad at me for something I write that isn't about you, congrats, it seems you have a firm grasp on reality.  If you pick apart every word, comma and sentence looking for meanings and hidden meanings and cant believe and who would I think I am to be blogging about YOU....congrats darlin' you just recognized something in yourself that you are unhappy with.  And when you know better you're supposed to do better.  

So put down the phone, take a deep breath and instead of blasting me for having a blog, do some self reflection and find out why what I say makes you come unglued.  Is it true?  Change it.  It is false?  Then it might not be about you.  If seeing my name merely attached to a blog is enough to make you curse my name to the heavens, I suggest google.  There are tons of good therapists all over the country that will help you work through your issues.

If you feel my blog paints a nasty view of your reality, change your reality or stop being part of mine. I have to get thru this life the best way I can and blogging is part of that. I don't use this as a tool to hurt others but I have always been open, honest and transparent with the circumstances surrounding my crazy. 

If you have crazy, figure it out. If you stop wasting so much time trying to figure out who I'm talking about, why I feel I'm so important to have a blog or feel like it's stupid, oh my small minded little friend,  stop reading and go work on your issues.

I have worked through mine, I still have a lot to say and if you want to keep reading, welcome.  IF you don't, see ya!  Mwah!