Seriously, if your life mimicks Taylor Swift, it may be time to call it a day.
I couldn't figure out why the past few days Satan has been absolutely relentless in trying to knock my spirit just down and out. Last day I worked before I had two days off, felt good. Had big plans for my days off. Hair, nails, massage. Barely made it in the door before I puked, out of nowhere and 2 days in the bed. But I was all, whoa is me, they aren't 2 days wasted when your life sucks anyways.
I know, I'm a ball of positive and God's never ending grace and light.
So yesterday I get out of bed, looking like a tragic train wreck would and took myself to a hair salon down the street. The conversation goes a little like this.
"Make me pretty." "What do you want done?" "I don't care, make me pretty, I'm tragic so anything would be a bonus."' She looked a little terrified and showed me some color swatches of hair and I told her, perhaps in a growl, "I. Don't. Care."
For 2 hours I didn't talk. Didn't make eye contact with anyone and the poor girl doing my hair was more than scared as she saw a woman on the edge.
She takes the towel off my head, after my
Color session and asks how I want her to style my hair. Told her "I don't care what you do to me just make me prettier than when I walked in."
As I had crawled out of bed before the appointment, I'm quite certain a blind person could have helped me.
She blows and straightens and turns me around and what do you know, I looked pretty.
I tipped her an embarrassingly high amount as I was such a joy to work with, I felt she more than earned it.
So why the sour mood? Only because Satan has been ALL OVER ME LATELY! Couldn't figure out why until I figured out why.
My aunt challenged me to speak, out loud, for a week, the promises I believed God has for me. The hopes and dreams and all I want, I've been vocalizing it. Every day. Out loud.
Satan doesn't really like that.
As evidenced in the total spiritual attack that has surrounded me the past week. Want to know if God has some big plans for your life? Speak them out loud. Just be prepared for a full out battle of the dark one trying to suck you into the negative lies he loves to spew.
So I did what any mature adult does,called my mom, bawling my eyes out. "I hate my life, this speaking blessings isn't worth it because Satan is attacking me."
Whaa whaa whaa.
My mom, God bless her. She's never given up on trying to pull me out of the crazy.
I was watching "Biggest Loser" and one of the contestants freaked out. Bob Harper says to him, (I have a Bob Harper in my life and she goes by Mom) says to him, " you're going to a crazy place." Crazy guy says, "I do that sometimes,". Bob, being the trained millionaire professional he is says this bit of wisdom. "Don't, it doesn't get you anywhere."
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
If you had someone in your life that meant nothing and was going nowhere, if you knew they were destined to a life of suckiness, would you step in to tell them otherwise if you didn't believe they were going anywhere? No, probably not. Why waste your breath, right? What if they were going somewhere? And them speaking out the truths of everything you weren't and standing on the firm faith of everything they believed they would have in spite of what you were doing to block them, what would you do if you didn't want them to succeed? Would you sit quietly and let them boast about a husband and kids and success and favor they were speaking as thought they already had them? Or would you throw tomatoes and lies and everything else at them to get them to shut up?
The past few days I've dodged the lies and fears and doubts and spoiled fruit that has been thrown at me full force and i didn't handle it with much grace.
I crashed and burned.
So, I prayed. Louder. Now to be fair, I did it in my car and felt like a complete idiot but I spoke loudly the truths and dreams and hopes and beliefs that I know God has placed on my heart.
And I powdered my nose, put on my lipstick and went out and showed the day who was boss.
I don't know why life is so hard sometimes. I don't get why Satan has decided I'm a great target practice. But I can tell you this.
I'm not giving up. I'm not giving in and I'm not quitting.
I KNOW the plans God has for ME. That's big! They aren't to harm, to cause tears and a tantrum. They are for something SO. MUCH. BIGGER.
If Satan wants me to quit now, I can't even begin to imagine what waits for me on the other side of this trial. And I can say that honestly. Not as some pie in the sky hope. I fully believe that.
It'll be worth it, it'll be beautiful and it'll be more than this tragic trainwreck of a gal could ever imagine.
Hold steady, God has this. I'm not just saying that. Coming out of the trenches, I believe that! If Satan is attacking you, it's only because he sees the absolute beautiful God has for you and he's terrified.
Satan shaking makes me laugh. God's promises make me smile. I know who wins this battle and for that, I'll keep dodging rotten fruit. Because at the end, I know the plans God has for me are to prosper me and give me a bright future. Bright! Not sucky.
Hold steady. Satan doesn't like that, God really appreciates it. 💙