Heavy hearted, suntanned and excited...

I miss my family. Always but especially on the holidays. Cookouts and stories and laughing. I'm more than blessed to have the family and support system I do. Always a great time with the parents, cousins and aunts and uncles and Nana and everyone. Wish I was there to celebrate the 4th. And eat Nana's spaghetti and meatballs.

Had a good day at the pool with a good friend. Tomorrow going to one of my best friends with some of my best friends. A day at the beach, his house, his pool, friends, food, fireworks. Will be a really good time. Hopefully won't go into the funk I'm trying so hard to stay out of.

I wish I could figure out the ins and outs and why's of how my brain and heart work. Today was kind of a this is your life play in my mind of a lot of things. A big part of that play was things I've done that I should have done differently. People I let treat me in a way I'm not proud of. I guess it's all part of the learning and growing process. When you know better you do better. I'm the "do better" portion of this chapter.

I ask for prayers for my family tonight and tomorrow. I remember being a kid in church and the pastor would ask for prayer requests and people would ask for prayers for various things. Then he always asked for those with unspoken prayer requests. And I'd look around as a child and see men, woman, young, old, raise their hand and he would look around and then start his prayer. It always struck me as something really special that God would know the hearts of so many people and that even if their prayer request was something that was too close to their heart to share, that He heard and knew. So that's what I'm doing. As a 31 yr old I'm channeling my inner 8 yr old and raising my hand for a prayer request that is too close to my heart to share. But I know now that it wasn't just me looking around in church to see who raised their hand. It was the faithful prayer warriors that looked around to see who needed that special prayer. So I'm believing that God is hearing my prayers, that those special people who believe in the power of prayer will take some extra time for my unspoken request.

I pray that this holiday is filled with family, friends and really special times for you all!