Monday, January 9, 2012

Welcome to the crazy

I've gotten an update that my blog viewership has drastically increased over the past few days. I'd like to welcome everyone, new and old. This blog over the past few years has been an outlet for me. And I'm thankful for it. If nothing else it serves as a great read for what God can do in someone's life. I encourage you to read back through the years. It's a story of sorrow, pain, loss, triumph, determination and grace.

I don't understand people. So many people hurting so many people. There are people in my life fighting real problems. Cancer, surgery, unemployment, infertility, divorce, broken relationships. So the minutia kills me. The older I get the less patient I get for disrespect, ugliness, arrogance, entitlement.

Spiritual warfare is a very real thing. In this very ugly world. Whenever you cleanse or detox yourself you fight some sort of reaction. Shakes, headaches, mood changes. When you live you life to glorify God, to take care of those around you, to live your life for a purpose beyond yourself, Satan goes on the attack. I'd welcome headaches and shakes over this. Lies, betrayal, hurt. It's not fun. But God never said life would be easy, He only said we'd never have to go alone.

My Christianity has been called into question. Gotta love the judgers huh? I make mistakes. Everyday. I react negatively. Everyday. I also have something called grace. I pray. Everyday. A lot. To be a good steward with what I've been given. To be whatever I can to whoever I meet that day. I pray for forgiveness for when I act out of line. For when I have bad thoughts. Its human nature. Thankfully I have a God I answer to, not humans. People let you down. Luckily my God is a lot more forgiving than people I don't even know who judge me.

I've never in my life been so hated. Had my character and my reasoning and the things I do called into question. It doesn't and won't make me stop though. If there's one underlying message from this blog it's that all this does is fuel me to love harder, give more, try to understand deeper.

Jason and I are fighting battles. As does everyone. We are fortunate enough to have a solid belief that God will guide us in His way for the best for our life. That sounds nice. In reality the road is paved with so many boulders and potholes and craters being blasted that it's hard. So hard. Some days harder than others.

"When you come to the edge of all the light you see and you are about to step off into the darkness, faith is believing one of 2 things will happen. There will be something solid to stand on, or you'll find your wings to fly."

We are stepping off into darkness. Dodging bullets as they come. But this battle isn't ours. The battle isn't yours. David and Goliath...what you make your giant becomes bigger. David was facing a real giant and God gave him 5 pebbles. Ha. Can you imagine? It'd be like Tim Tebow in overtime against the Steelers. Oh wait. Nice reference huh? David prayed over the pebbles and God took care of the rest.

Mustard seeds, pebbles, faith like a child. I have that. I'm praying Jason stands in that as well. Because God has made something beautiful out of our ugly pasts. And He's going to make something beautiful out of this.

In the end, God will be glorified for the blessings, for the joys, for the abundance of gifts He has for us. I don't want an ending to this. I'm praying, faithfully, for a beautiful ending to this.

I'm blessed because I know who has my back. Who has yours?

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