Friday, August 24, 2012

Labor of Love.

Oy Vay.

Before I started this process I got the opinions of many.  Some shocked me, others kind of terrified me but most were reassuring.  I can tell you pretty candily, I hope no one asks my honest opinion anytime soon.  Girl needs to decompress.  And it's not even finished yet.

This has been an exciting week full of God's wonderful answers to our prayers and the prayers of so many of our faithful family and friends.  Jason went in for surgery Monday morning at 7am and handled it like a champ.  I went back to see him in recovery and he was squalling about his dress being too short and not covering him well enough and unbeknowits to him, making the 2 woman on either side of the curtain laugh and get their mind off what they were there for.  "This dress shows my stuff, they need a man gown.  This is for girls.  My shoulders hung off the sides of the table, they need a man table.  Get me out of here, now.  I'm ready to go home.  MY butt was hanging out of the back of this gown.  MY stuff was showing."  Now, bless his heart, I probably share way too much on here but it makes me laugh.  He is such a trooper.  And yes, the gown he was wearing was a woman's large, not made for a man that is 6'6 such as himself.  And the bed he was on during surgery is mostly used for woman.  So he was kind of like an adorable bull in a fertilitly clinic china shop.  GREAT NEWS FOR JASON!!  Dr B got all he needed from that handsome man of mine. 

The next morning at 7am we are back again for me to have a go.  The ladies on either side of Jason had 8-10 eggs retrieved.  I had 24!  24 eggs!!!!  No wonder I look like a beast, I was hatching 2 dozen eggs.  Great news again!!  Thanks be to God for taking care of everything above and beyond what we hoped and prayed for.  Then I woke up.  Holy cow I was in pain.  Like serious, crying immediately pain.  Got home with some good drugs and slept most of the day and night.  The next day it was more of the same.  Everyime I moved I threw up and then kinda passed out.  Went to the Dr and the conversation goes a little something like this.  Probably TMI for everyone but I'm suffering through this and you logged on. 

"Woman think they don't have balls like men, but they do, they are just inside and are called ovaries.  They are equally as sensitive. Yours are usually the size of almonds but both are now blown up to the size of large softballs.  Everytime you move you can feel it and they are pressing on your stomach and making you throw up.  And are also pressing on your intestines and blocking you.  The pain is because I was basically spearfishing (I may be paraphasing) with a probe and a needle, puncturing the follicle, sucking out the egg and then going to the next.  24 times.  So yes, you will be in pain, stay off your feet and take it easy."


As we were laying on the table after his pep talk waiting on a script for meds, he went across the hall to do a sonogram on a newly pregnant momma.  We heard the whole thing and we could hear the heartbeat.  I kind of just lost it.  Was laying there crying, with my husband beside me, listening to a woman's miracle in the next room, knowing our miracles were growing somewhere in that building.

The next day we got the news we had...drum roll please........22 embryos!!  Holy crap!  That's great news.  We are doing a 5 day transfer which means on Sunday at 10am the best 2 of the bunch, our lil overachievers, will be transferred to my womb.  OMG!!  That sounds so legit.  I have an acupuncture appt at 9am there in the same office to really get the blood flowing.  What does one wear to get pregnant I wonder?

I feel God so all over this.  This hasn't been fun.  Looking back on everything it hasn't been terrible and I would certainly go through this and more to have our babies and we still have some ways to go but right now, it's kind of really overwhelming.  I'm laying on the floor after taking 2 enema's, 2 different stool softeners, while Jason is at the store getting me prune juice and honey (GAG) writhing in pain that only not going to the bathroom for weeks can do to one, praying I get some movement before I get myself pregnant on Sunday.  Jealous?

It's a labor of love.  I've heard more than a 1000 times, this is just preparing you for pregnancy. I know, I get it.  Just usually you put on some sexy lingerie, not a hospital gown and cap.  You drink champagne, not apple juice or God forbid, prune juice.  But whatever means this baby comes, it's coming to 2 people who already are so committed and in love with the thought that our love, our committment, our desire, our prayers and our blood, sweat and tears are bringing us the thing that we want most.  A baby or 2 dozen of our own.

Satan is throwing some roadblocks.  Of course.  We were too happy.  Had too much joy.  Satan had to throw out lies.  Jason is a bad father because he missed the kids first day of school.  Lies.  He's an amazing father and one of the first questions he asked when he woke up is if pictures of the kids first day of school had been sent to him.  Someone is trying to cause sadness and confusion in our family with more lies that only come from Satan.  What if this doesnt work?  Doubt and lies. Not from God, from Satan.  Not going to feed into it.  Can't.  I have too many blessings and too much good in my life to be bogged down by the bad.  By the lies, by the jealousy and by the mean action of others.

I got babies growing in bowls, ya'll.  And Sunday this gal here is going to get pregnant!  How do I feel right now?  Overwhelmed with the amount of love, prayers and support of those I know and don't know.  More in love with my husband than I thought possible.  More amazed everyday by a God who is showing me his blessings and grace and mercy.

This baby story isn't over.  We still need and appreciate prayers as the embroys continue to develop, that my body will receive them, that they will grow inside me and that in 9 months we'll get to kiss the faces of the babies we have prayed so hard for.

Blessed because I know that God is working in me.  Hopefully soon the prune juice and honey will be as well!

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