Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Pregnant. With follicles

Or at least that's how I look.

I don't know if I have any male readers out there but you may want to mosy on over to ESPN or something.

So I have gained 6 lbs in 3 days.  I look like I'm having a baby.  I can't go to the bathroom, everytime I stand up or move I can actually feel my ovaries dropping and I'm still somewhat emotional.  Fun times for everyone! 

Had a dr appt this morning and when you go through any kind of cycle like this you get grouped with the other people cycling that month.  So you see the same people at appts.  It's quite funny to watch the progression.  And, answer to prayer, the waiting room breakfast eater wasn't there today!!  Side note- when there is a restroom attached to the waiting room, go ahead and assume that everything that happens in the restroom will be heard in the waiting room.  And running water doesnt help!  I got a case of the laughs and Jason was trying his best to shut me up.  I think he mentioned something about me wanting to just pick on everyone.  He's so sensitive.

So back to what I was saying, Monday everyone shows up to the appt dressed cute, put together, excited, yada yada yada.  Today the wives looked a little less comfortable, clothes were a little more baggy, the husbands looked a little more beat down.  One couple across from us caught my eye when the husband sneezed and the wife looked at him like "die, die now!" and he was like "it was a sneeze, relax!"  I wanted to high five the woman and Jason looked like he wanted to give the poor guy a hug.  I can't wait til Friday.  Wages are in that the ladies will be in yoga pants and tshirts and the men will have bruises!

I'm pretty sure my husband is the office favorite.  All the nurses are always so "your husband is so funny" and "oh my goodness he must keep you in stitches, you're so lucky."  I feel very lucky as they are poking me with the pokey thing measuring my follicles.  Jason sits there in his chair beaming at his fans.  At one point he mentioned something to the effect that he'd been through a lot with this.  As I'm laying half naked, finding out how many follicles I have growing rapidly, bruised from bloodwork, rash on my chest from the meds, constipated because my huge ovaries are blocking any movement, and sweating because I'm a big sweaty pig but yes, he's had it rough. 

So sometimes we go through crappy times and never get to know the reason why.  Other times it's revealed and you feel very protected and doubly blessed.  When we went through the last round of everything for it to end the way it did was devastating.  We went through rounds of medicine, shots, scans, bloodwork for nothing it seemed and up until very recently I was still a little concerned about the why's.  But Jason and I have said over and over how right this feels.  How prepared our hearts feel for this.  When I was going through insem it was a guessing game as to dosages and meds and how my body, with the PCOS would respond.  When we were on that path I needed 2 or 3 follicles at 14-18 whatever.  I overstimulated one month and we had to scrap it because I had so many.  The next month they knew a little better what to try.  It was frustrating and disappointing but we were dealing with $1000 a month only.  Only, ha, right!?  Well I see why we went through that now.  I was on my schedule for IVF meds that they put everyone on to start.  But I had a sit down with Dr B 2 weeks ago and we talked about how my body responds so strongly and he dropped the dosage based on what we knew by what I'd been through.   Mon they called and lowered my dosage even more.  Now it seems I'm exactly where I need to be.  Today I had something like 20 follicles from 6-15 whatever.  Say hello to the 6lb follicles baby!  The meds I'm on now are 4x the amount of what I was on before.  It cost us some time and tears but I'm at a huge advantage now knowing what we do and not overstimulating because we weren't going in blindly.

I feel like I am exactly at the place that God has for me and whatever happens I know with everything I am, we will have our beautiful ending to this journey that will be the start of a beautiful beginning....

The nurse told us that Dr B heard that laughter helps pregnancy rates increase so he was considering bringing a clown in and doing balloon animals.  Jason very firmly and adamantly told them how stupid of an idea that was to put someone noisy and loud in a room full of crazy woman and how I nearly stabbed the server at dinner one night when he was in the middle of making a balloon flower. 

If laughter helps increase pregnancy chances, then that is just another butterfly moment from MY God showing me why he placed such a funny, loving, caring man in my life to walk this journey with me. 

Seriously, give the man a hug, he needs one.

Blessed because I'm covered in prayer and God's favor.  What better place to be?!

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