Friday, June 18, 2010

Home sweet home...

Back in Jax after a week in Houston TX. Had a good week. Training with my new company, meeting new friends, great food, driven around in a Town Car w a driver all week, staying in the Marriott, expense accounts....Can get used to that.

I'm exhausted. Mentally more so than physically but exhausted none the less. Training was a great reminder in what I already knew, some new things I had never thought of and the reassurance from the coach's and colleagues that I 1. I know my stuff 2. I'm good at my stuff and 3. I'm going to be successful at this again. Because it's what I know, it's what I love and it's what I'm good at.

Met some cowboys while I was there. Flip flop, shorts, baseball hat wearing cowboys but cowboys still. Those TX guys really know how to treat the ladies and make you feel special.

Also got a lesson in life and disappointment. I feel like I've learned how to be a really true version of myself over the past few years. I have insecurities still. But my insecurities affect me. I don't project my fears and shortcomings onto other people...finding out that that isn't the case for everyone hurts. Especially when it involves you. Being dragged into a situation that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with someone else's hangups with themself isn't a lesson I was ready for or expecting. I know people go through bad times, I know how hard it is to be in a bad place. But I'm not going to excuse bad behavior that's hurtful and just not true. I got schooled in more than real estate training this week.

I'm tired so I'm emotional. My feelings are hurt, my heart's disappointed. I'm also missing Jonas like crazy. Kids flock to me. I had 4 random kids today, all boys, come up to me at different points in the airport talking to me, asking me questions, engaging me in their excitement over flying. They couldnt have been more than 7 or 8. Jonas's age. I also realized tonight that yes, I've started a new chapter in my life. I've moving on to new and exciting things, but the pain and sadness of missing what you've lost doesn't go away. Time makes it easier but it doesn't erase it. You have to give yourself permission to grieve. And then pick yourself up and keep going.

I'm blessed. In so many ways. I have an opportunity to be successful with a really great company. I have many doors that will be opened for me, to places I never imagined. And I'm ready for it...hurts, hangups, excitement, surprises and all.

As I learned in TX...Yeehaw!

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