It's amazing how right things are when they're right. And how easy it is. And how less stressful it is. And how good you feel. And how much more rest you get when you're not trying to control things outside of your control.
This job is right for me. As is the company. As are the people I'm working with. It all just fits. And after years of trying to make things fit that didn't, this whole being able to breath because the weight of the world's not resting on my shoulders feel pretty great.
The walls I've put up are slowly coming down. And I only realize it when something happens that should affect me one way and it affects me another because the wall of doubt, or shame, or fear, or sadness, when the walls aren't blocking life, blessings really do come your way.
I'm not worried anymore. I'm not broken anymore. I feel just really taken care of, really protected, really loved and overly blessed.
My life is moving me in many directions. Some are scary, sure. It's new and unknown. But I also know that it's moving me in the way of my hopes and dreams and those aren't scary. I haven't been set up to fail. I haven't been shown what I can be to not be that person. I haven't been shown how right things can be to be disappointed again. Im not wearing rose colored glasses skipping through a meadow but I'm confidant that my prayers are being heard, the right things are coming my way and it's all leading me to a place I've wanted to be for a long time. Where I'm supposed to be. And it feels great!!
My prayers and hopes to each of you that whatever you are facing right now that you'll find the healing to let go, let the walls down and live. Its scary, its painful sometimes but I'm living proof that God guides you where you need to go, when you're ready to be there. Knock the walls down and start moving in that direction. Took me years, feels good to be here. I'm going to stay awhile...