So...

Went to Winter Jam tonight. Heard Third Day, Newsong, Newsboys, Sidewalk Prophet, Tenth Avenue North. Really good time with good people. Few things I came away with.

1. The man who will become my husband will be musical. Possibly a guitar playing singing piano man. Or maybe just one of the 3. But lately the desire in my heart for that has been growing almost daily. Kind of strange. But tonight just reaffirmed it.

2. Satan is working overtime on a lot of people. Through the hurts, missteps, discouragement, sadness...God's voice is louder, we just have to listen for it. His plans are bigger. His promises are deeper. His love is more pure. I've let a lot of things go but I've replaced my hands with other "things" and it's hard for God to fill my hands when they are filled with junk. There's a slippery slope between a lot of thngs I'm trying to figure out. Satan senses the desire to know more and the confusion that comes with it and attacks. Doesn't mean he'll succeed. My desire to draw closer to God is stronger than the will to throw in the towel.

3. I have good people in my life. I'm a lucky girl. I'm blessed beyond measure. I'm emotional but I think it's because God is continually preparing me. I thought I'd be prepared by now. I'm not. So I just have to keep going. And by God's grace I'm able to. And I'm at peace with where I am and where I'm allowing God to lead me.

Emotional mess but it's ok. At least it's a growing, seeking emotional mess and not an angry one. Progress...