I've been trying to implement some changes for some time now. And everytime I decide this is it, really going to do it this time, no more excuses...something comes up.
I was watching Biggest Loser tonight and had kind of another light bulb moment. So many of them have trouble doing it at home because they don't believe in themselves enough to make the changes they have to make, or either make them for a hot minute but can't stick with them. They need someone yelling in their face. Bob telling them to keep going or Jillian to call them out on not giving their best.
I went from being married, to being on my own in a really bad state of mind, to going to my parents house. I went from being told and shown I wasn't good enough to being told and shown I was good enough. From conditional love to unconditional love. It was a confusing dialogue inside myself because I didn't really believe either.
I've been dependent on others to affect my life both negatively and/or positively. I've been scared. Holding myself back. The first person to tell myself I'm not strong enough to do what I want to do because of my past failures. I can talk about it. I can dream about it but to actually take the first step to make the change has been something I haven't been able to do. It's not Jillian or Bob or Mom or Dad or Nana I need in my face telling me I'm good enough and to keep pushing with my best. It's that voice I'm finding inside myself that needs to speak up so I can do what's best for me. My Mom, Dad, Nana and other countless people will cheer with me. But it's me who has to have the strength to take that first step.
And I'm going to do it. For no one else but me!