I have so many thoughts going through my mind right now and honestly not sure how to find an outlet to get me sain, skinnier, and not CONTSTANTLY on edge!
I dont belong here but I'm happy to have the extra time with Nana. I'm homesick for my family and friends. I guess I've just been waiting for God to lead me somewhere. Right now I've taken up (semi) permanent residence in the "mean time."
Max Lucado wrote in a book of his something to the effect of whatever you put your time, energy and thoughs into that becomes your giant. I forgot that briefly. Well I'm being gerenous. Haven't thought about that in too long. The point is my focus needs a shakeup. Focusing on my weight makes my outer being more significant than who I've become on the inside. Focusing on where God is leading me and needing me in the future takes away from focusing on who I can minister to, or be a friend to now.
Kutless "Promise of a Lifetime"
I have fallen to my knees
As I sing a lullaby of pain
I'm feeling broken in my melody
As I sing to help the tears go away
Then I remember the pledge you made to me
[CHORUS:]I know you're always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words you say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime
Will you help me fall apart
Pick me up, take me in your arms
Find my way back from the storm
And you show me how to grow
Through the change I still remember the pledge you made to me
[BRIDGE:]I am holding on to the hope I have inside
With you I will stay through every day
Putting my understanding aside
And I am comforted