Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Fa la la la blah...

I'm trying hard not to get in a funk. It's not easy. Read an article today on foxnews.com that loneliness is more contagious than the flu. That's kinda scary as I'm a certified card carrying member of lonely right now.

I have really good friends. Ones who have literally been through me with life and death. I am so undeserving. I have an amazing family...they have been through more than any one person deserves to go through because of me, and yet they have loved me, encouraged me and prayed me through it.

I have been trying to plant new roots for a few years now. The ones I had planted with Jeff and Jonas and my house and my jobs, they were yanked from the core and it's been years of rebuilding, relearning and remembering....

I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. Christmas has always been my very favorite holiday and I'm trying very hard to stay positive right now.

I'm reminded of a childhood song I learned in Sunday school...I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I was.

I keep thinking this is the week, the month, the year that my life is going to click, going to make sense, going to start....

Loneliness is contagious. I don't want to be a carrier of that. I heard a long time ago that if you can't be happy with yourself than you can't be happy with anyone else. I'm trying my best to be ok where I am, as I wait for God to lead me where I'm going. I feel lonely at times but God has sent enough real, true, loving friends to keep me going to where I need to be. So in the joy of Christmas spirit I'll end this will "Fa la la la la la la."

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