Christmas was nice. I realized Christmas Eve that nothing that was on my "Christmas List" was tangible. And most things I wanted weren't even for me. I was feeling very noble and quite proud of myself.
Then Christmas morning got here and I got books and makeup and purses and earrings and shoes...And I was so excited prancing around in those new shoes, taking time to wear them all. So maybe my list wasn't tangible but clearly I have a love of things. Maybe not quite as noble as I thought, I'm just a girl after all.
However, the things that have been on my heart for other people have only been magnified over the last week. My parents and I went to see a special friend of our family, someone who was probably the first person we met in FL, on Christmas Eve. She's living in a retirement place of sorts and she's figuring out who she is I think without her total independence and her house and all of her things....But she is still the same spry lady with the sparkle in her eye and smile quick to shine. Her light hasn't dimmed because her circumstances have. She's 96, I think it's probably wise to emulate her.
S0, new year right around the corner and in the past few weeks since I've decided I'm loving who I am and working on the things that need improved or changed or removed, my confidence has gone up. Not because of who I'm dating. Not because of what I'm wearing. Not because of who may or may not think I'm good enough.
My circumstances haven't changed, aside from new shoes and yoga toes to keep me from being crippled, but my attitude has.
In the wise words of Jewel:
"I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else, believe in me even if someone can't see a stronger woman in me. Be my own best friend stick with me to the end, won't lose myself again, never, no, cause there's a stronger woman in me!"