Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Hi meantime. Please leave now...Thanks!

I'm just in a bad place. Satan is trying to hold me down. Hold me back. I've been crying, cranky, overwhelmed. I've gotten down, but I'm trying not to stay down.

Frustrations with a job I haven't started yet. Emails from people from the past bringing up things that I shouldn't let still get to me but do, because I have a heart. And I have feelings. And when they are hurt, I cry. Not a character flaw. I'm compassionate, I'm passionate. But right now I'd like to be a little less hot mess and a little more put together.

I WILL NOT LET SATAN HAVE THIS HOLD OVER ME!!

I've been hanging on by a thread...but I'm still hanging. I have been on the brink of losing my mind..but haven't lost it yet. I've been close to throwing in the towel but continue to hold onto it. I know people are praying for me. Praying for my family. For our circumstances, our heartaches, our struggles. I know everyone is facing something. I know that a lot of people are feeling lost, forgotten and hurt.

So my prayer for you who is hurting, as is the prayer for myself. I pray that even when disappointments come that hope shines brighter. That when tears fall they also bring healing. That when it seems like you'll never find your way you're shown a directional sign. That when you feel like no one cares, someone special calls. That when you feel like your life is a disappointment and a failure beyond repair, that you are shown something that makes you proud of where you've been and where you're going. And that when you feel like you have no where else to turn, that you place your knees on the ground and your eyes upon Jesus.

I'm thankful for mercy. I'm blessed with hope and I'm confident that God has not left me to find my way alone....I may be wondering, but I know I'm not lost! And I'm packing my bags and leaving the meantime!! New location, tbd...

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