I'm spending the night with my best friend and her family. Selfish visit on my part. I needed to get out of the house, out of Jax, away from anything to get my mind off calling Richard tomorrow at 2 to find out about my job. And also because spending time with Whit and the kids does my heart good.
We've been friends through a lot of life's curveballs. I love that she's a mom. When I got to her house her and Trey were playing a game and they were both laughing and having fun. Then Arden woke up and I got to cuddle with her. Then Trey sat in my lap for 3o minutes, having conversations on my cell phone, playing with my earrings, playing with my hair. He loves his Aunt Miss. Not half as much as I love him.
There was a moment when Whit was giving Trey his dinner and I was holding Arden that I got a little emotional. I thought, one day, some day soon...I'll be here with my babies. We'll be drinking a glass of wine as our kids play and we talk and catch up. She's the friend I am most ready to be there with. Because she was so part of my life w J and now she's such a loving, active mom, I'm ready to share that. I know we will soon.
Tomorrow is the day I talk to Richard. Our sense of urgency are on a different scale. He wants to hire someone to start within a month, I want the job yesterday. I'm still confidant that our conversation tomorrow will bring me the good news I've been waiting so long to receive. To him he'll be giving me a job. To me he'll be giving me a lifeline.
I am ready. So past ready really. But just really excited to see where this course is going to take me. Who I'll meet, where I'll go, what I'll become.
One thing about best friends. They always have your back. She has been encouraging, excited and involved. Not because it was deserved or expected. Because she decided at some point that I was worth being part of. And I love her for that. Because right now all I have to offer is me, and she has her 2 precious little kids and her amazing self to offer me, she's ok with me just being me. Aside from my parents she's encouraged, loved and seen me through the struggles and she's almost as excited as I am to start this new chapter.
Maybe thats what it is about best friends. Give and take. I get to take part in her life with her babies and experience the excitement she's going through as a Mom and wife. And she gets to experience the excitement, roller coasters and drama of being single, waiting for that right job and right man. She's never made me feel less me because I don't have those things. Yet. She's just been there encouraging me that not only are they right around the corner, but also that I deserve all that. And more.
I'm thankful tonight for my friends. I'm praying for a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I get to spend some time with the kids as she runs some errands and then I will get back on the road to Jax. To make my phone call. To see what road I'll be taking from here on out.
I'm blessed, loved and very fortunate. xoxo to you all!