Saturday, March 27, 2010

Well crap. And oh yea, I like to sing

Kentucky lost. To WVA. Someone said we lost to a 3rd world country. Kind of funny if it wasn't so sad that we played so poorly and lost so close to the final four. But UK basketball is back and I've learned patience so I can wait til next season.

I met a guy last night. Well not true, met him a few months ago but spent more time talking to him last night. He's in a band and they are really talented musicians. We were chatting and I told him I used to sing and blah blah blah led to him playing Whisky Lullabye in a corner of the patio and the 2 of us singing. Me and him. Singing. While he played guitar. Singing and harmonizing!! I can sing. I miss it. I enjoy it. I need to get involved in something that can allow me to use that talent. God gave it to me, need to use it. I really miss singing. And I guess that as attractive as it is for a guy to be musical, it's also attractive to them when a gal can sing or play piano. Interesting what I'm learning at 31.

Also learning its a really scary world we live in. A shooting in the middle of the day a few months ago and a bank robbery that led to a car jacking and the robber being killed and a baby in the car being shot...all during the day, in a busy part of town. That's 3 miles from where we live. That's less than 1/4 of a mile from where my office will be. Scary. Satan's trying to get me back on the anxious train but I'm good where I'm at right now. For the most part.

Jonas' bday was today. 7. Still seems absolutely crazy to me that I haven't seen him in so long. Good things happen to good people. I know that. I just wonder when life will start reflecting that. Mom and Dad deserve better than what they're getting. They don't have Jonas either. They deserve to be the Popsy and Tete to kids. Kids love them. People love them. They're some of the most selfless people I know. To their family, their friends, their coworkers. And I think they should get so much back. They give selflessly. As their daughter, I'd love to see people do the same for them.

I'm just emotional. There's a lot of things I want to change that I have no control over. There's a lot of hurt and pain and disappointment that I would take away from people I care about if I could . But I cant so I pray for their strength, their hearts, their spirits. That they wont be shaken, won't be moved.

I know God has me where I'm needed. I know that I'll be moved into the next position when the timing is right. Its not about patience any longer. I've proven to myself, maybe even others, that I have now understood and embraced that patience is a virtue. I see the value in it. I see the value in me having it.

Still doesn't change the fact that I'm bored out of my mind and after 14 months without working I'm more than ready to start this new job! I see the value in myself. What I have to offer, who this process has made me and where I'm allowing myself to go.

Now I'm going to bed and hoping to wake up ready to be filled wholly at church.

Blessed, loved, excited and ok. If not also a little ticked at the Cats, but blessed none the less!

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