But for once I don't feel the need to jump off. I emailed with Richard today and he wants to chat on Fri afternoon. He's in Vegas with the company. Soon enough I'll be in Vegas with the company. I'm confidant of that. Still didn't stop me from bursting into tears. Thought I had to wait til Wed. God really has a lot of confidence in me. And apparently is still teaching me patience.
It's a different kind of emotional place I'm in. I'm not waiting for something bad. Not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for news that I know will be great and move me forward. I'm ok with this kind of waiting.
Had a dream about J last night and woke up crying. Nothing new there. But this too was a different kind of dream. He's going to be 7 at the end of this month. My little guy isn't a little guy anymore. I've missed the transition. The dumbest thing made me cry tonight. Saw a boy with a missing front tooth and wondered how many teeth J had lost.
I won't let myself get down. I know that God is taking care of him. I know that somewhere in his heart he knows that he has a family out there that loves him and thinks he's one of the most special kids in the world. Because he is.
So my prayer tonight is that God continues to give me excitement and peace about my job, that is right around the corner. And that he will protect and nurture and keep my J safe and that he'll always, always feel as special as he is.