Friday, March 12, 2010

Erasing you...

We made fun on Nana for doing this. I think it was when Sandy was in the hospital having Matt and someone said something to Nana and we look over and she's moving her hand up and down and side to side and we were all sorts of confused. Asked what she was doing and said, "I'm erasing you!" Only Nana. Love her.

But now I know how she felt and why she was doing it. There's people and circumstances and things going on I'd love to erase. Judgemental people. People who have no idea except what they see through rose colored glasses. Lazy people. Ones who can whine and complain about whatever strikes them to bloviate about. Why don't you stop complaining about others and go visit your family. Or offer to go to the store for someone. Or go sit and talk and help friends that could use it. Just a thought!

I read a book while I was married about your love tank and it being full or empty. Was pertaining to how you felt in relation to your spouse. I have a BS level thats working quite the same way. I'm not going to deal in BS. From anyone. You're either real and want to be real in my life or you don't. I'm not meaning to be rude. I think I've made it clear, that I give people chance after chance after chance. Well its wearing me out. It's annoying me. You get wind that my life's about to change in a pretty great way, you want to ride in on the coattails of that. I dont ride coattails and certainly not letting people ride on mine. Get there yourself.

I guess I'm spring cleaning everything. Clothes havent worn in awhile are out. People who bring me more hurt than not are out. Family that doesn't care about family...out. I'll continue to pray, support and encourage as I can but my feelings about things have changed.

I'm ready to erase all the hurt, disappointments, anger, frustration and tears out of my scope of being. Life will not be rainbows and butterflies and "just keep staying positive and everything will be fine." Try that line on someone who has fought and fought and fought and tried over and over and over to make life better but it still isn't quite there in being you're time, will probably be something to not say. When you're in the dark before the's still dark. Doesn't mean my faith is gone. Doesn't mean I don't believe the light is around the corner. Just sometimes its ok to erase the people w the pollyanna views who are living the charmed life of oblivion. Because if they are erased then they probably can't do permanent harm...

Be nicer people. Love more people. Care about others. Pray for people. Don't judge how someone is doing based on your opinions of circumstances you've never yourself gone through. Thats called an opinion based on an assumption. Uh huh. IF you have gone through some of the same circumstances, share them. That's called encouragement and advice. And it's helpful when you're feeling lonely and overwhelmed.

MY Dawn is coming. I'm singing. I'm dancing. I'm believing. I'm making plans and I'm dreaming. Let me do that. But the times I'm overwhelmed and cry and have moments of frustrations, please don't judge how I handle it. It's rude and it's annoying. And that's why I have erased the posers. Making new room for the new people, new job, new opportunities, new places that I'll be experiencing very soon. I'm pressing on.

Here are virtual stones ****** Anyone without sin, please have the first throw!

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