Emotional hot mess, that would be me. Spent the morning watching my two fave little Slick kids and then a few hours with Whit then made the trip home for my all important phone call. It happened but not how I imagined it going down, mainly that I would have a start date, an amazing salary and perhaps a company car. Ok, being selfish. I have a car. I had a mini meltdown because I was so ready to have an answer that when it didn't come immediately I kind of lost myself for a minute. But I had my best friend, my parents, Nana and a few others to put me back in place.
Satan is on the serious attack, trying everything possible to break me at the last second. And for a split second I crumbled. I have a tax refund coming. Soon. I have a check being deposited. Soon. I have a job opportunity I'll find out more about. Soon. I know it's always darkest right before the dawn and I certainly felt that way today.
I had to keep reminding myself that God will not pull the rug out from under me. Satan might. He can try. But my stiletto is planted firmly with that rug that God placed under held tightly in place with my faith that God brought me here. Right where I'm at. I never lost sight of that reality, just maybe lost sight of understanding that everything will be revealed, in HIS timing. Not Richards, not mine. Again, have tried trading watches with God but I think he's pretty much not budging on this one.
I've said it before I'll say it again. I'm this emotional because I know that my life is going to change. That it's finally my time, my season, my cup is going to run over with blessings. Specifically for me. To better me for His purpose. But the setbacks of doubt, hurt and disappointment are still there. But only because I'm still waiting. For something great. I know it's coming. Mom likened this to Braxton Hix contractions. OR being 3 weeks past your due date as she was with my brother. The not real contractions, the anxiety of waking up every day wondering if this is the day...I totally relate. I'm definitely going through some pains but I know as sure as I'm sitting here that the pain I'm feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming. The dawn before the morning.
SO, I'll continue to wait. I'll continue to grow, be led, pray and believe that God is bringing me to it so he'll most definitely continue to bring me through it. And I know, without a doubt, that my season of plenty is right around the corner.
Yay! Big sigh of relief....again!