Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Growing up is hard to do

I've always been blessed with good friends. I've been overly blessed with an amazing family. I know that. I don't take either for granted. But I also am not blind to the realities of how relationships change as you get older.

I dont understand why people don't take care of their family. Whether it's people who don't talk to their parents, or don't go over to sit and talk to their grandparents, or even just ask a cousin, aunt, great uncle, how they're doing. If you don't have family, what do you have? And if you have an amazingly caring family and don't appreciate them while you have them you're going to live a life with a lot of regrets.

Same with friends. As you get older I think you're friendships obviously change. Some strengthen as time and struggles and blessings happen, others don't. I've never been someone who can easily end relationships. I try to see the best in everyone and make excuses for people more times than is probably healthy for me but I won't change that about me. If someone messes up and hurts me I give them the benefit of the doubt that they didn't mean to. But the older I get the harder it is to justify other's hurtful actions.

I'm not meaning this to be a downer blog. I just have seen over the past several months how easy it is to either make someone's day or break their hearts. And because I try to see the best in people I'd like to think that it's not deliberate when people hurt you but maybe they are just preoccupied with other things to take enough care to make sure what they are saying doesn't damage your spirit.

I can't make other people act the right way. I cant make them care enough or do the right thing. But it doesn't stop this tender hearted gal from hurting for people I love that are hurting. So in the hope of world peace (kidding) maybe if you're reading this you can think about these things..

Have I been the best daughter, son, grandchild, friend, aunt, coworker that I can be?

Have I told the people that love me and care about me that I love and care about them?

If you are praying for someone, tell them. It makes them feel good.

If someone is expecting good news, celebrate the hope with them. Don't warn them about the fear of setting yourself up for disappointment.

If someone asks you how you're doing, go on the assumption that they mean it and tell them.

If someone has hurt you and they don't know why, maybe have that conversation with them. Because as hard as it might be, living a life with anger, regret or fear is a life that is wasted.

I'm not trying to be Dr Phil. I'm not trying to act as a professional on relationships. I just know that when you are given much, much is expected. Good, bad and ugly. Make that phone call. Ask for forgiveness, tell that person that you love them or you're sorry. You never really know what other people are going through but I can pretty much promise that if you say one of those 3 things, it will change that person you say it to. And it will change you as well.

Growing up is hard to do but if you surround yourself with those that love you and believe in you then you are a really blessed person!

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