Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Poser no more!

Self acceptance, confidence, or permission to be happy? Yes, yes and yes!

Busyness breeds busyness. Feels good having stuff to do. Feels good to put yourself out there and be well received. Feels even better knowing, believing, that God has said "Finally." It hasn't manifested itself in anything other than me feeling that my time has come.

Getting calls from my resumes. Something is in the works. Perhaps maybe even a start date? Dare I hope? If not that then one that's right for me. I'm confident in that.

Guys are dropping out of the sky. Good guys. Attractive guys. Who are interested in me. Who like who I am and what I have to offer. Did I mention hot guys? I know there's more important things than looks but really people only say that when they aren't happy in the looks department. Of course we went to be respected and loved and taken care of by a Christan family man. And if he's hot...even better.

Butterfly moments have been replaced with hot guy moments. Which I'm totally down with. Funny where I'm meeting these guys. Out at a place I go to listen to live music sometimes. Through a friend. My Service Advisor when I took the Lexus in a few weeks ago. And these are gooood looooking men! I was out with Mindy tonight standing in the parking lot to leave and was telling her a story and this guy walks straight up to me and it was the Lexus guy. And he was all flirty and complimenting my hair and my shoes and my smile, which only made me smile bigger, then he complimented my bigger smile.....this guy is HOT! Stood out there talking for 20 minutes. Flirty. Huggy. Did I mention his dimples and he looked like a hot Harry Connick Jr?! And he's moving to Washington State! Of course.

BUT...I'm letting me be me and look what it's producing. Stuff! Interviews, dates, hot men falling out of the sky. I'm not the Melissa I was. I didn't really give myself permission to become the new Melissa because my circumstances aren't figured out. I don't have a job. I don't have a house. BUT...I do have my personality. I do have my stories that people like to hear. I do have my sense of humor, my compassion, my love for my family, my beliefs, my hopes and my dreams. That's what makes me me...

Crazy that it's taken me this long to see it. Or maybe this long to accept it.

Bottom line is I love myself. I accept myself for who I am right now. That's the shortest sentence of my blog but it's the most important right now and I'm not losing this. Not for a guy, not for a job, not for anything.

You can't love someone until you love yourself...I was looking for someone to fill that void. I did, me. And I'm quite happy with the me that I've grown into.

High heels, great accessories, good hair, big smile, tan. Yes yes yes. Happy, content and excited because I know that my "Finally" is here....more at peace than I've been in a long time.

Blessed, loved and taken care of!

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