Sunday, May 30, 2010

Like sunlight burning at midnight...

Making my life something beautiful, beautiful!

God's been up to something. And now it's come to light in the way of my job. This is a company that cares about their people. In words and in actions. The boss man is already taking care of me and making sure that I know and am confident that they are going to help me get back on my feet, become successful, grow some roots.

It's funny how things change. 2 months ago I couldn't wait to start the other job because it would have gotten me out of Jacksonville every week a different location. That would have been fun. For a little bit. It's not a job conducive to building a life here. And at the time I wanted to build a life anywhere but here. I wanted to run away.

This job awakened a lot of things in me. My passion for real estate, my desire to belong to something bigger, to make a name for myself, to be independent, to settle down, to just be me again.

I was sitting on the bitter wagon for a little bit. This is a great job. I'm more than excited to become part of their team. But the fact that it took me 15 months to find that job was hard for me to swallow. Kind of like dating everyone in Jacksonville and then falling in love with the person across the street. I could have gotten this job a long time ago. The test I had to take would have had the same results last year. I could have sold myself last year. But I wasn't ready. I have to be honest with myself. The job in radio came at a time that I was going through my divorce, losing my house, losing Jonas. It kept me busy, it kept me occupied, it made me get out of bed.

But this past year was a year of healing. I believe that as sure as I'm sitting here. I may have gotten this job last year but I wouldn't have kept it. I had ADD in every area of my life. I couldn't concentrate on anything, had no faith in myself and had some really dark days. I know those days are behind me. Job stress and the stress of life that I went through are 2 completely and totally different things. I welcome the job stress. Learning new things, meeting new people, making money!!

I'm a different person than I was even a few months ago. I know that God has a plan for my life. I don't have the answers and I'm not sure of His ways but I know they are to prosper me and bring me to a beautiful place.

I've had a lifetime of experiences, sadness, disappointments in the past. And I'm gladly leaving them in the past. Like sunlight burning at midnight, it's a beautiful thing. Mercy reaching me and saving me. It's unexpected, it's more than you deserve, and it's been there all along, you just have to be ready to accept it.

I'm blessed. I'm more than excited to see where this new path takes me. I know it will be more than I expect and more than I feel like I deserve. And that's the amazing thing about God's love. It covers you and gives you what you need. When you need it and when you're ready for it. I'm ready. I'm so so ready....

No comments:

Post a Comment